Sailing Home For Christmas
More actions
A nautical parody of Driving Home For Christmas. The original song was written by English musician and songwriter Chris Rea, originally released as a single in 1986, and has since become a Christmas staple in the UK. The Longest Johns version was released on YouTube 10 Dec 2025.
Lyrics
As performed in the video.
We're sailing home for Christmas
You're all smelly, drunk disgraces
We're sailing home for Christmas, yeah
Well, I'm sick of all you swine
And it's been wet hell
But soon I will be off of the swell
Thank God it's nearly done
Sailing in my ship, sailing home for Christmas
With me one good eye I see it there
Head to toe I'm achin'
Oh, and half the crew have drowned
But soon we'll see the shoreline, yeah
Get my stumps on solid ground
'Cause I'm cold, and I'm tired
Can't wait to be somewhere that's dry
And leave this parrot
Sailing in my ship, sailing home for Christmas
Sailing home for Christmas with a thousand gold doubloons
I take look at the ship man next to me
He's in great pain
In great pain
Almost in the Channel
And the winds are running high
Crew are in the topsails
Now they're falling from the sky
And I'm on my own
And I can't see the way back home
And it seems it's just me
Sailing in my ship, sailing home for Christmas
Sailing home for Christmas with a tropical disease
I take look at the ship man next to me
He's in great pain
We're sailing home, sailing home
Sailing home for Christmas